Sunday Scroll #90

An army of 10 using Google Earth
Slowly but surely pieces of the jigsaw puzzle of the conspiracy behind Mumbai terror attacks are falling into place. In a first in terror strikes in the country, all the 10 terrorists involved in the Mumbai attack got familiar with the terrain of the city by using the Google Earth service, according to sources in the Maharashtra home ministry. The 10 terrorists left Karachi in a boat around one week back ... in Mumbai’s direction.
[It's almost as fucking ridiculous as 19 punks with box-cutters killing 3,000 people.]

Hey bitch, get back here!
U.S. Troops Kill Taliban Commander Clad in Woman's Clothing
KABUL, Afghanistan — Gunbattles and airstrikes by NATO and Afghan troops killed 53 militants in Afghanistan, including a wanted Taliban commander who tried to hide from soldiers under a woman's burqa, officials said Saturday. The U.S. forces targeting the commander surrounded a house Friday in Ghazni province and ordered everyone inside to leave, a military statement said. Six women and 12 children left the building, but while soldiers were questioning the women they discovered one was actually a man dressed in a burqa, the traditional all-encompassing dress that most Afghan women wear. The man, later identified as the targeted commander Haji Yakub, tried to attack the soldiers and was killed, the military said.

Birth announcement
Honolulu Advertiser Sunday, Aug. 13, 1961

[Read it and weep assholes.]

Hugo helping the Pork Princess out
With heating oil prices approaching $10 a gallon in rural Alaska and reports of neighbors stealing fuel from neighbors to warm their homes, a Venezuela-owned oil company plans to supply free fuel to villages again this winter. ... Citgo has provided roughly 15,000 Alaska village households 100 gallons of heating oil each for the past two winters. If the company donates the same amount this year, some families will save as much as $1,000 on their fuel bills. It's part of a program providing assistance to low-income communities in 23 states.
[They are the indigenous people of Alaska and they pay $10 a gallon for heating oil in the state that produces most of our oil? Once again, Hugo Chavez embarrasses us with reality and kills us with kindness and a sharp stick in the eye. Where's the passionate pork princess?]

Headed home
(AP) Seven astronauts piled into space shuttle Endeavour for the return trip to Earth after eating Thanksgiving dinner, leaving their counterparts at the international space station like relatives parting ways from a holiday visit. After Endeavour undocks early Friday, it was to circle the international space station so shuttle astronauts can photograph the outpost orbiting 220 miles above Earth. Endeavour then will fly 46 miles from the station for a final inspection to make sure the shuttle's heat shield is damage-free before re-entering Earth's atmosphere. "I'm looking forward to the views," said pilot Eric Boe, who will be at the shuttle's controls. The shuttle's crew was set to return to Florida on Sunday after completing a 16-day mission.

The Answerer in Chief
Not only does Obama hold press conferences, he actually pays attention to the questions.
[Competent leadership will be a nice change.]

Ah what the hell, take your time
St. Paul, Minn. — Local elections officials are expected to resume recounting votes in the U.S. Senate election on Monday after taking time off for the Thanksgiving holiday. The entire recount must be done by next Friday, Dec. 5. The State Canvassing Board then meets on December 16 to start reviewing challenged ballots. The board intends to declare either Norm Coleman or Al Franken the winner a few days later.
[Come on, they take 4-5 days off? Lazy bastards.]

It's crazy all over the world
Death toll more than 300 in Nigeria violence
JOS, NIGERIA -- Mobs burned homes, churches and mosques today in a second day of riots, as the death toll rose to more than 300 in the worst sectarian violence in Africa's most populous nation in years. Sheikh Khalid Abubakar, the imam at the city's main mosque, said more than 300 dead bodies were brought there today alone and 183 could be seen laying near the building waiting to be interred.
[More people were murdered in Nigeria than India but you're not hearing much about it. No Chabad House I guess.]

Who the hell doesn't?
Rupert Murdoch 'absolutely despises' O'Reilly
In a forthcoming biography of Rupert Murdoch entitled “The Man Who Owns The News,” author Michael Wolff reports that the Fox News bosses have no fondness for Bill O’Reilly but are willing to tolerate him for his ratings.

I like maps
[Especially maps with a lot of blue!]
Barack Obama 67,066,915 52.7%
.. John McCain 58,421,377 45.9%

Fire it up
OTTAWA – Researchers say they have located the world's oldest stash of marijuana, in a tomb in a remote part of China. The cache of cannabis is about 2,700 years old and was clearly "cultivated for psychoactive purposes," rather than as fibre for clothing or as food, says a research paper in the Journal of Experimental Botany. The 789 grams of dried cannabis was buried alongside a light-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian man, likely a shaman of the Gushi culture, near Turpan in northwestern China.

The Bush Legacy
Mike KeefeWhat could 50 grand buy?
Barack Obama’s inaugural committee is limiting the amount of donations that it will accept to $50,000, part of his continuing pledge to limit the influence of money in government and a signal that Mr. Obama intends to encourage the public to participate in his inaugural. Inaugurations of previous presidents have accepted single donations as high as $250,000.

What's ahead for Idiot Boy?
After leaving office ex-President Bush reportedly will head the American Red Cross where he will push for "vast forward-looking measures" dedicated to "helping future disaster victims help themselves" such as swimming and lifesaving classes for residents of low-lying regions.

That shit stinks like hell!
Volunteers make kimchi, traditional pungent vegetable, to donate to needy neighbors for winter preparation in front of the Seoul City Hall Thursday, Nov. 20, 2008. About 2,200 housewives made 130 tons (117 metric tons) of kimchi. Made with cabbage, other vegetables and chili sauce, kimchi is the most popular traditional food in Korea. - [Have you ever smelled kimchi? That shit will peel the paint off the walls! Anyone who can put that stuff in their mouths, so close to their noses, is not normal. Not too long ago I worked in an area with some Asians and they'd put that shit in our microwave during lunch. Well, they did it once anyway. And I told them, no, uh-uh, no fucking way! - h/t AHNC]

If the Globetrotters lost the Generals
The announcement that Alan Colmes is leaving Fox News Channel's Hannity & Colmes show, where he serves as co-host to Sean Hannity, raises the pressing question: Will anyone notice?

From hooker to singer
NEW YORK — Now that she's done singing about Eliot Spitzer, Ashley Dupre is taking steps to get a real music career under way. An insider tells the New York Post's Page Six that the former high-end prostitute has signed a manager to help guide her career.

What a country!
(CNN) -- The former driver and bodyguard of Osama bin Laden will be moved from the prison at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, on Monday, several U.S. sources told CNN. Salim Ahmed Hamdan, who has been held at Guantanamo Bay for years, will be moved to his native Yemen to serve the final weeks of his sentence, the sources said. ... Hamdan received a 66-month prison sentence, which was due to be completed by the end of the year, because he had received credit for time served before being found guilty.
[We hold men who were captured as teenagers in solitary confinement for over seven years for shooting back at an invading army but we let Osama bin Laden's personal driver and bodyguard go free? What the fuck is wrong with us?!!? Hopefully, we put a chip in his ass.]

John Cole

How'd that get there?
(CNN) -- Was it a theft? A prank? A roundabout effort to bring some holiday cheer to the police? Authorities in Harwich, Massachusetts, are probing the mysterious appearance of a piano, in good working condition, in the middle of the woods.

Wait a minute ...
I thought this downturn just started with the election? In fact, you'll notice they were calling for the Bush/Republican Depression before the 2006 election.]

Man flashes White House turkey!















The Limbaugh Award

"I'd like to be a president (known) as somebody who liberated 50 million people and helped achieve peace..." I would like to be a person remembered as a person who, first and foremost, did not sell his soul in order to accommodate the political process. I came to Washington with a set of values, and I'm leaving with the same set of values."

Where in the oath for the office of the Presidency does it say where Bush was suppose to waste trillions and sacrifice 4,207 American lives by preemptively invading a country that wasn't a threat to us, to 'liberate' their people? Not to mention, they're far from being 'liberated' and they sure in the hell are not living in peace.

He came with a set of values? Please. He's a dry drunk idiot who lied and led us into our most costly military blunder in 60 years and that's what he will be most remembered for.

That and taking huge budget surpluses and turning them into $5 trillion in additional debt. He borrowed more money than the previous 42 presidents combined. He began his reign with unemployment hovering around 4% and he'll leave us with a real unemployment rate that's hovering around 12%.

He and his deregulating accomplices have driven this country to the brink of an economic collapse and a possible depression.

He participated in the treasonous act of outing a covert CIA agent and goofed around and ate cake with another loser while New Orleans sank.

And he's still showing that he will be an evil little prick right until the very end. Those are some 'values', asshole.

George W. Bush will be remembered for a lot of things but 'liberating' people and 'values' are way down on the list. The thought of that fool boasting about his values after what he's done over the last eight years shows just how delusional and pathological he truly is.

Having not won this 'prestigious, but infamous' award in over six months, this is George W. Bush's 7 1/2 Limbaugh (he was the 2007 co-champ with Dick Cheney -- Sunday Scroll #44) Award, and, ladies and gentlemen, this will also be his last. He's no longer worth the ink.

Congratulations Gump, you're #90.

Past winners of the prestigious, but infamous,
The Limbaugh Award
Rep. Michele Bachmann - (R-MN) - 11/23/08
Turd Blossom - Karl Rove - 11/16/08
Double-talking Wingnut - Brent 'Bozo' Bozell - 11/9/08
Rightwing Radio Nutjob - Bill Cunningham - 11/2/08
Josephine the Plumber - Ashley Todd - 10/26/08
Joe The Plumber - Sammie Joe Wurzelbacher - 10/19/08
Drug-Addicted Beer Queen - Cindy McCain - 10/12/08
Anti-Semitic Lying Traitor - Sean Hannity - 10/5/08
Bye Week - 9/28/08
Pretty Pork Princess - Gov. Sarah Palin - 9/21/08
Lying Lil' Bush - John McCain - 9/14/08
Pretty Pork Princess - Gov. Sarah Palin - 9/07/08
Pretty Pork Princess - Gov. Sarah Palin - 8/31/08
Alleged Pedophile Pigboy - Rush Limbaugh - 8/24/08
A Terrible American Liar - Sean Hannity - 8/17/08
Self-described Narcissist - John Edwards - 8/10/08
Al-Qaeda in Iraq Liar - Traitor Joe Lieberman - 8/3/08
McCain Campaign Operative - Katie Couric - 7/27/08
Stupid Hillbilly Bitch - Libby Dole R-N.C. - 7/20/08
Lyin' Lil' Bush - John McCain - 7/13/08
Fox Assholes & Friends - Doocey and Kilmeade -7/5/08*
Fear-Mongering Buckeye Fan - Hugh Hewitt - 6/29/08
A Terrible American - Sean Hannity - 6/22/08
Tim Russert Memorial Truce Week - 6/15/08
Fox's Toe-Sucking Ethics Expert - Dick Morris - 6/7/08*
Troop Level Idiot - John 'Lil' Bush' McCain - 6/1/08
Sub 10th Grade Debate Loser - Rush Limbaugh - 5/25/08
Scared Little Man - George W. Bush - 5/18/08
Sugar Momma Beer Queen - Cindy McCain - 5/11/08
Uncultured Wussy - Bill O'Reilly - 5/4/08
Nazi Running for Congress - Tony Zirkle, R-IN - 4/27/08
Fox's Toe-Sucking Ethics Expert - Dick Morris - 4/20/08
Lying Dickhead VP - Dick Cheney - 4/13/08
McCain's Chief Lobbyist - Charlie Black - 4/6/08
Neo-Nazi Supporter - Sean Hannity - 3/30/08
Shiite for a Brain - John McCain - 3/23/08
Client #9 - Governor Eliot Spitzer - 3/15/08*
Turd Blossom - Karl Rove - 3/9/08
Lying Redneck Rep - Jack Kingston R-GA - 3/2/08
Lying Little Twirp - Tucker Carlson - 2/24/08
Mr Straight Talk - John McCain - 2/17/08
Bye Week - 2/10/08
Mr Straight Talk - John McCain - 2/3/08
935 of them - Bush & the Gang of 7 - 1/27/08
Fox News Co-Liars - Hannity & O'Reilly - 1/20/08
Sheep's Favorite Liar - Rush Limbaugh - 1/13/08
Longtime Lobbyist - Trent Lott - 1/6/08
2007 Co-Champions - Dick Bush - 12/30/07
Lying Piece of - Mitt Romney - 12/23/07
Psycho Pervert - Michael Savage - 12/16/07
Sheepherder-in-Chief - George W. Bush - 12/9/07
Turd Blossom - Karl Rove - 12/2/07
Cowardly Welsher - T. Boone Pickens - 11/25/07
Republican Tool - Matt Drudge - 11/18/07
Their Favored Liar - Rudy Giuliani - 11/11/07
Fox News Liar - Chris Wallace - 11/4/07
Uncultured Wussy - Bill O'Reilly - 10/28/07
Phony Patriot Liar - Rush Limbaugh - 10/21/07
Old Kentucky Homo - Mitch McConnell - 10/14/07
Liar-In-Chief - George W. Bush - 10/7/07
Phony Patriot Pig - Rush Limbaugh - 9/30/07
Big Stretch 'the truth' - Bill Sammon - 9/23/07
Mr. Straight Talk - John McCain - 9/16/07
Sycophant - Gen. David Petraeus - 9/9/07
His own Idaho - Sen. Craig R-Idaho - 9/2/07
Turd Blossom - Karl Rove - 8/26/07
The Exterminator - Tom Delay - 8/19/07
Big 'Rooster' - Mitt Romney - 8/12/07
Total Suck Up - Glenn Beck - 8/5/07
General Gonzo - Alberto Gonzales - 7/29/07
Pro Liar - Tony 'Snowjob' Snow - 7/22/07 **
Bush bin Lyin - George W. Bush - 7/15/07
Freed Felon - Scooter Libby - 7/8/07
Mr. Overrated - Rudy Giuliani - 7/1/07
Crazy Lying Okie - James Inhofe - 6/24/07
Pro Liar - Tony 'Snowjob' Snow - 6/17/07 **
Mormon Moron - Mitt Romney - 6/10/07
Bye Week - 6/3/07
Commander Guy - George W. Bush - 5/27/07
Pat's Brother - Bay Buchanan - 5/20/07
Used Car Salesman - John Boehner - 5/13/07
Uncultured Wussy - Bill O'Reilly - 5/6/07
Mr. Overrated - Rudy Giuliani - 4/29/07
Turd Blossom - Karl Rove - 4/22/07
The Decider - George W. Bush - 4/15/07
Lying Chickenhawk VP - Dick Cheney - 4/8/07
Mr. Straight Talk - John McCain - 4/1/07
Attorney General - Alberto Gonzales - 3/25/07
Fox mouthpieces Sean Hannity and
Victoria Toensing - 3/18/07
Fox News guy - Brit Hume - 3/11/07
VA Secretary - Jim Nicholson - 3/4/07
Rep. Michele Bachmann - (R-MN) - 2/25/07